Starting to grow our family has brought a lot of unexpected. From pregnancy symptoms to research finds, my husband and I have both been kept on our toes. For this post, I want to focus on some of the most unexpected and controversial things I’ve learned. I hope that you will take a moment to look into one or two for yourself and maybe learn something new!

*Disclaimer: I know not all of these options may be possible for everyone, even if you find yourself agreeing. This list is purely for information’s sake and to ignite more curiosity. While I may ascribe to these ways of thinking, I am no way intending to guilt or shame you into doing the same. I am also not a medical practitioner. I do want to encourage you to keep an open mind as some of these ideas are contrary to long-held popular thinking.

Growing Baby

Inducing labor actually makes contractions stronger and faster, often leading to your body trying to push out the baby before your hips have moved into the right position. This can lead to more pain, needing forceps, and more tears. It also makes bleeding more likely because the uterus will not know to stop contracting after birth. In other words, artificial inducement also leads to artificial labor, but drugs like Pitocin are no substitute for the natural rhythm of birth and can take away the mother’s control over her body. Down to Birth podcast has some great information on this and more. If you would rather read, you can start here.

Birthing vaginally provides key sensory input that actually helps your baby’s fight/flight system start off from a calm place. Without this “big squeeze” the baby is more likely to be jumpy and easily startled. Here is one children’s hospital’s list of natural birth benefits for both mom and baby.

Mommy medications during pregnancy such as SSRI’s and other depression/anxiety treatments may be worth keeping when compared to the impact emotional instability can have on an unborn child. This opinion comes from a psychiatrist with 20 years of experience working in obstetrics: Dr. Casey says that many hospitals attribute fussy newborns to these medications because of an innate bias rather than considering other factors. While we all want the best start for growing unborn babies, that start should also include an emotionally healthy mother since the child feels what the mother feels and is already affected by cortisol levels in the womb. If you can achieve a healthy balance without medications, you can slowly wean off of them when planning a pregnancy/during pregnancy, but do not go cold turkey as this will put your unborn baby through withdrawal. If this isn’t a reasonable option, find a psychiatrist who specializes in maternity care. If you use Instagram, @the.reproductive.psychiatrist is one person you can follow as you search.

The First Few Months

Baby shoes make it harder for infants to learn to walk because they cut off sensory input from the toes. Bare feet give babies essential traction when crawling and teach their bodies about different terrains.

Baby holders are a convenient way to keep your baby safe when going about the day’s chores etc., but they may keep your child from forming a truly secure attachment style and even delay walking. Healthier alternatives are actually cheaper and just as easy; try baby wearing from a young age for lots of skin on skin contact and co-regulation. If your child dislikes being held or you need a moment baby-free, set up soft, flat places for tummy time to promote strong muscles and earlier crawling skills. A wide open space for exploration helps your baby develop strong core muscles as opposed to carriers that hold your baby in a standing position. Here’s a YouTube influencer who teaches about this and more from the Montessori Method.

Infant immune systems don’t fully function until age 2-3 months! While breastfeeding gives your baby a lot of added protection from the mother’s antibodies, their own bodies need a little time to adjust. The transition from a sterile environment to the big world and lots of people eager to greet baby is a huge jump. Asking anyone who touches your baby to wash their hands first and avoiding crowds for the first few months can help protect them from sickness while their immune system gets up to speed. You can also research some infant-safe supplements like elderberry to give them a head start. Read some more from the Cleveland Clinic.

Vaccines, Sugar & Weaning

The CDC recommends a schedule of vaccines covering 23 different sicknesses all before the age of 2. What you may not know is that doctors are not required to review brands and side effects for the majority of these vaccines. Additionally, many are also incentivized by insurance companies to give them at a rapid pace and reject delayed schedules. This means that you as the parent need to do your own research and walk into appointments prepared to do what’s best for your individual child’s needs-because every child is different. Here are some resources to help you get started: the National Vaccine Information Center‘s pre-shot checklist and Just The Inserts’ easy to read vaccine labels (the same ones that come with your shots at the doctor).

A child’s gut microbiome will be mostly formed by the age of 3 and fully formed by age 7-8. This means that the gut bacteria that your child collects in their first 3 years of life will stay with them the rest of their life. This microbiome will influence so much! From immune system function to mood to digestion. Keeping a diet that’s low in processed sugar (and juice) helps the immune system run smoothly since sugar inhibits detoxing functions and aids the growth of bad gut bacteria. The amount of stress that a child experiences during this time will also impact how the gut develops. You can find more detailed information from one of my favorite sources, Dr. Green Mom. She discusses some vaccine related sugar information in one of her free download guides. Highly recommend.

The Montessori Method recommends giving toddlers their own mini table and chairs, and other furniture, when learning to eat solids. Placing their feet on the ground makes eating easier and prepares them for a big table in years to come. Moms also say it eliminates throwing food off the high chair. Starting with real cups (small glass or wood cups) and real silverware instead of sippee cups may be messy at first, but it will teach them to handle the big-kid dishes much sooner and with less frustration for both of you. Giving littles a world that is accessible at their height will foster growth and a sense of self-worth rather than the frustrations of living in a giant’s world full of “I can’ts.” (I wouldn’t be too happy never reaching the table, toilet, chairs or sink!) YouTube, the library, and even your friends following Montessori are all great places to follow-up for more.